When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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