Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
