I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
