You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
