all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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