i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
