Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
