But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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