I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
