maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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