Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize