STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize