he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
