I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
