On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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