I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
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