I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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