were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
