Got a toothbrush?
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
