We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
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