i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
