Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
