why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
