she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm at about main and main street
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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