Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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