PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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