24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
