remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i drank out of a bidet.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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