Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
