I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
