Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
