He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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