Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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