This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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