I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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