Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
