worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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