I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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