Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
