you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
