Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
