is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My dad just said "fuck circus"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
i need some magic done to my vagina
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
