Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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