How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
