Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
