I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
