I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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