woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
