Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize