Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
