We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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