i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
