Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
