I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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