Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
