I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
