My cat gives me a boner
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i want to swaddle you in tequila
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize
