Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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