Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
