their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
