Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize