I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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